Jason Redman:
The Overcome and Conquer Show is presented by The Project. The Project is a full immersion, 75-hour experience designed for men who know in their core they are not living up to their fullest potential. Rather than waking up every morning ready to dominate life, the mediocre man rolls out of bed and slides into the same unfulfilling routine they’ve unhappily been in for way too long. The Project is for men that have lost their internal flame and motivation to conquer. It’s for men living an unfulfilling life that lacks excitement and purpose.
Jason Redman:
Sound familiar? Then listen up. The Project is specifically designed to challenge you mentally and physically. We push you to the ledge of self limiting beliefs and prove you’ve got much more in the tank. We kill the bitch and unleash the beast. We uncover the demons that hold you back and turn extreme pain into superpowers to dominate life. In the end, we turn mediocre men into modern day knights.
Jason Redman:
We forged a brotherhood and bond that levels you up as a better husband, father, and friend. But The Project is not for every man. In fact, it’s not for most. For men who are okay with being in a rut and achieving less than their fullest potential, The Project isn’t for you. If you’re not willing to put in the work to fix what isn’t working, The Project isn’t for you. However, if you’re done white knuckling it through life, living one day at a time with no sense of purpose, and are willing to do what it takes to improve, The Project holds the key to unlocking the next chapter. Graduates of The Project join a brotherhood of modern day knights and become the authors of their destiny. They have their fire reignited and reclaim dominance over their family, fitness, finances, and faith.
Jason Redman:
If this resonates with you and you want to learn more, we encourage you to apply today www.mdkproject.com/ocshow.
Ray Care:
Everybody wants to be on top of the hill. The problem nowadays is people want to get dropped off at the top of the hill.
Ryan Manion:
[inaudible 00:02:08] it’s that I Overcome mindset that makes all the difference.
Speaker 4:
See, the way we’re taught is you’re going to claw, you’re going to scratch, you’re going to bite, you’re going to dig, you’re going to do whatever it takes to get to the top of that mountain.
Ryan Manion:
That, unequivocally is how I have managed to keep myself moving forward and finding success.
Speaker 4:
Two SEALs, one mission. The Overcome and Conquer Show.
Jason Redman:
Hey, welcome back to the Overcome and Conquer Show. What a hell of a run. Dude, we’ve made it into the big leagues. You know what I’m talking about, Ray man, it. So Captain Ray, we’re in the big leagues now.
Ray Care:
What’s the big leagues mean?
Jason Redman:
Right here, my friend. You are part of it and we now are part of it.
Ray Care:
Not only am I part of it, not only am I wearing the shirt logo, I actually got the damn thing tattooed on my hand.
Jason Redman:
Oh, yeah you did.
Ray Care:
I saw that. I was like, “Whoa.” “Hello. Look at me.”
Jason Redman:
And I’m just going to say it right now, because I already told you this. I called out the rest of the crew. I said, “Why does Ray’s look so much better than everybody else’s?” It’s a epileptic third grader, and no offense to any epileptic third graders out there, but it’s an epileptic third grader tattooed the rest of them, and then you had an actual tattoo artist tattoo you.
Ray Care:
On a serious note, I actually am going to have Tony Franco touch it up. But if we have time later on, I will tell you the story about that with our gracious sponsor, Bedros, and I’m telling you this right now, it is hilarious. I mean, it’s comical.
Jason Redman:
Well, dude, I can’t wait to hear it. We will jump into that. But we have made it into the big because The Overcome and Conquer Show is now presented by The Project.
Ryan Manion:
Boom.
Jason Redman:
What is the project, Ray?
Ray Care:
The Project is a 75-hour, all-immersive, literally mental, physical and emotional beat down, which is going to make individuals better from the inside out while, pause, dramatic pause, dramatic pause, we are actually building up your business savvy and sense because you’re being taught by Bedros Keuilian and Steve Eckhart who are both big seven-figure earners.
Jason Redman:
Boom. I love it. So for anybody out there, you’re going to hear a lot about The Project coming up. If you are a man that is lost in life, and there’s so many. There’s 330 million people in this nation. I’d be willing to bet there’s probably 75 million men out there right now that fall in this category, that are just lost [crosstalk 00:04:39].
Ray Care:
Our guest is one of them. [crosstalk 00:04:45].
Jason Redman:
Well played, well played. Hey, I wonder if we can get him on The Project.
Ray Care:
He needs it desperately.
Jason Redman:
We will bring him in in a minute for sure. But listen, if any of you men out there right now are just looking at, “Where do I go? I need to get myself back mentally hard. I need to get myself back physically hard, emotionally hard. I need to surround myself with like-minded individuals.” You need to look into The Project.
Ryan Manion:
Get hard.
Jason Redman:
All right, well listen, dude, we have been on a hell of a run, we’ve had some amazing guests, we’ve been getting some great feedback. I tell you what, Mike Days, podcast dude, people have been talking. Dude, really? Really?
Ray Care:
What? What did I do? 27 times?
Jason Redman:
27 times.
Ray Care:
I know. I was waiting. I mean, I don’t like to say it because you only got shot how many?
Jason Redman:
Eight times.
Ray Care:
I mean, technically you’re a pussy compared to him.
Jason Redman:
That is true. That is true. Dude. I will call it like it is, man. I got nothing on that guy. I mean, I got some pretty big bragging rights from most people out there, but when I stand next to Mike Day, I’m just a little bitch.
Ray Care:
In my SEAL days, nothing happened, but when I got lost in Richmond, Virginia, one day, I was actually driving down the road going to a rigor school. We were stopping by an adult activity place called a strip club at night, and there were two individuals running down the street chasing each other, shooting bias. So I think that puts me in the same categories your Mike.
Jason Redman:
Oh, by far. I mean, absolutely. I mean, when I look at that, if Mike is 100 and I’m a 50, I would definitely put you at a -17.
Ray Care:
And it was a 38 versus a 22 caliber, so it was big artillery going back and forth.
Jason Redman:
Those are called recreational rounds, my friend.
Ryan Manion:
Okay. Gotcha. All right, let’s get into this.
Jason Redman:
All right. Listen, so today we are honored to have a nother teammate and friend, and I’ll tell you what, I love this guy, as a matter of fact, we are linked because of the city where both of us come from. I spent some time down there in Boca Raton, Florida, is where he resides. And I went to Boca High for a while, still got family down there. [crosstalk 00:06:58]. Yeah. But he’s an amazing individual. I love hanging out with this guy. I will get into his title, but we were talking about how do you describe him, and “frenetic energy” was one term.
Ray Care:
He makes me look like I am a calm person, and I am not a calm person. I’m not going to lie to you. This is one of my main crushes as far as what he does, motivational speaker, GS educator, motivator and yes, deci fucking mater. I have a semi-chub. I’m excited to have him here. I’ve been a longtime fan. And obviously on a serious note, I love what he does because this guy, I mean we have …
Jason Redman:
He brings the thunder.
Ray Care:
He brings more than a thunder, man. I bring the [crosstalk 00:07:47].
Jason Redman:
Except he brings it in the form of the Tasmanian devil had sex with the Energizer bunny and then they smoked crack, and then they dipped it in plutonium, and that’s him.
Ray Care:
He’s the only guy that we’ve ever had on his podcast that said, “Hey yeah Ray, drink that fiber energy drink because you’re going to need it, because I’m getting ready to wear your ass out.” I’m excited. I’m excited. Look at him. He doesn’t even show his face. Look at him.
Jason Redman:
You guys definitely need to go watch this on YouTube because he graced us with a wonderful attire for this. But let me jump into this. Today we are absolutely honored to have our teammate and friend, Mr. David “Froglogic” Rutherford, a former us Navy SEAL medic. He was a SEAL instructor, he is a behavioral training expert, he is a nationally recognized motivational speaker and he gets out there and he just brings the thunder. He fires people up, with his insane, high energy, multimedia presentations and his incredible intense impact. Companies speak about him coming in and firing them up on all types of topics, handling emotion, overcoming fear, masterfully balancing how to eliminate all those things yet to both eliminate and to be inspired from fear. So, ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to introduce our teammate and friend, Mr. David V. Rutherford. [crosstalk 00:09:18].
Ray Care:
(singing).
Jason Redman:
And for all you listeners out there, you definitely have to go watch the YouTube, because if I could describe Dave right now, he looks like Guy Fieri stuck his finger in an outlet and donned Elvis glasses. He looks amazing.
Ray Care:
(singing).
Jason Redman:
Right. Welcome to the show.
Ray Care:
Welcome, sir.
David Rutherford:
Gents, I got to tell you, man, I’ve done one or two of these things, and I’ve been so excited to come on with you two. On a serious note, both of you bring such incredibly authentic and drive and motivation for people, you care about the people you work with, you care about the people, you care about your families first, and you both give so much back to not only the veteran community but everybody you work with. It is just an incredible honor for me to be on Overcome and Conquer with you guys. Thank you so much. I love you guys.
Jason Redman:
Brother, likewise [crosstalk 00:10:24]. We love to have you and we’re talking about family. Later in the show, I definitely want to dive into, because your journey, I know there’s a lot of people that know you from Team Never Quit and that was definitely one of the big conversations we got into earlier before we started the show, the importance of family for all of us. That and the importance of prostate health. I just want to say that that was one of the other topics we talked about at the beginning of the show.
David Rutherford:
Dave actually gave a good idea. We should start recording what we say before and after, because I won’t lie, we’d probably get shut right off the air, so much shit that-
Ryan Manion:
Yeah, we definitely would.
Jason Redman:
I mean, this guy’s fucking insane. This shit was-
Ray Care:
It’s the interwebs, Ray? We don’t get shut down on the interwebs. Although we do. If we hold a gun up or something, we might.
Jason Redman:
Oh no, if we haven’t been shut down yet, man, I mean we get a bunch of team guys on and it becomes a B-52 strike, I mean a B-52 F-bomb strike. I definitely have people write me and go, “God, what’s up with the F-bomb?” And I’m like, “Dude, it’s called a platoon hut.”
David Rutherford:
Yeah, no shit.
Ray Care:
The best one we ever had, we had a guy named Jesse who was a Marine, got blown up real bad, lost a leg, and he became notorious on the internet because he ran the Marine Corps marathon and he carried a flag through the whole thing. Well, Jesse, he’s raw. I mean, he’s really raw. And he came on, we clocked him one time at about, I think we had 22 “fucks” in one sentence. It was the most remarkable thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I actually had to record a preliminary notice before everybody listens, saying, “Hey, please don’t be offended. It’s not anything against anything. It’s just the way he speaks.” But the guy was so intense and you just felt it from him, man. So I think it’s a part of us. Let’s just say “fuck” every other word. [crosstalk 00:12:11].
Jason Redman:
Yeah, Ray’s got that covered.
Ray Care:
I can do that. The Irishman versus the Scotsman. Let’s see who goes.
Jason Redman:
I mean, you have to have a high level of appreciation for the beauty of the word and those who can use it in such … I mean, a guy like Jesse, 27 times in one sentence, I would sit back and I would just be, “As an individual who is an orator and a …” That has nothing to do with oral sex. I just want to let you know that. I saw your eyebrow suddenly pop up when I said that. [crosstalk 00:12:43]. He got a little excited.
Ray Care:
I did. I did. I got a mirror, Dave, so I can see myself.
Jason Redman:
As an individual who is a fan of the English language and how we string words together, I’m always impressed when you’ve got somebody that can just utilize the F-bomb in such a myriad of ways.
David Rutherford:
Well, Jay, you’re a masturbator, man, and that takes a lot of [crosstalk 00:13:02] great craft and talent to be able to put-
Jason Redman:
It is true. It takes a lot of skill, endurance, muscle control. Where are we going with this?
Ryan Manion:
Yeah, let’s get into the show.
Jason Redman:
Producer Ryan is bringing us back on track.
Ray Care:
Don’t drag us down, Ryan. Let’s do it.
Jason Redman:
All right, Dave. Hey man, listen, let us jump in. I want to hear what have you been doing? Everybody needs to know who is David Rutherford?
David Rutherford:
I mean, it’s funny, man. The older I get, I try and simplify that more and more and more and more. Like you said, I really tried to take the warrior mindset that was such a part of my life for so long and put it in a place now where I can put the rock down. And so my big focus in life now is to move over to this teaching component in my life. That’s really where my focus is. I want to get out there. I really want to try and let people know, in all walks of life, all backgrounds, that, “Hey man, you can have strength, but you can also have empathy and compassion. You can also let love be one of the great focal points of how you live your life in a world that’s constantly, perpetually being inundated by the negative insurgency I call, that we can rise above that and love each other. We can share with each other, we can care for each other and we can walk the way together. And that’s really what I’m trying to do in my life now, man.
Jason Redman:
And you are doing it, brother. You are and have been doing it. I mean, seriously you are, I like to use the term paving the way for … I’m trying to follow in your footsteps, brother. I’ve talked to you offline many times for some advice, and man, you are doing it. So my captain’s hat’s off to you, brother.
David Rutherford:
Well, the cool thing I saw lately is, and I know what that transition is going from the work you were doing common out and trying to find that pathway, because listen, we’re so preprogrammed, we’re so wired for this one style of living that when you finally you set that bulletproof vest down and you’re making that big leap, it’s tough to find what is going to make you have that meaning to backfill that identity. And when I saw you become a part of that project, man, and working with all those guys, I thought it was the perfect fit for you. You really are going to make a huge impact on all the men that go through that. You bring such a powerful positivity and drive to it, man. I’m so happy for you and I wish you all the best on it, man.
Jason Redman:
I appreciate it brother, and a little trivia here, most people don’t know this. Dave and I have more in common than most people would know. We both were SEALs-
Ryan Manion:
Devastatingly handsome.
Jason Redman:
Yes.
David Rutherford:
Small penises.
Jason Redman:
Yes. We’re both Scottish and Irish [crosstalk 00:16:06].
Ray Care:
We put the two of you together and you’ve got about an inch. That hurts.
David Rutherford:
Ouch, Day, ouch.
Ray Care:
I don’t talk about it publicly, but I’m also an avid a paddle boarder. Dave does that. And then we have another occupation that we’ve done in a different life. So, I don’t know if I would say I’ve been following, because I think he went to Buzz after me, but we I am now-
David Rutherford:
We were on the same track, the same time period, the same group, the same peer group, everything, brother. We’ve been tracking along each other, and this is pretty remarkable to me that this is the first time we’re actually getting to integrate together, and thank you again, I just feel real honored. And then you, Jay, man, holy shit dude. You’re you’re the MacDaddy brother. You’re the guy that that gives the rest of us the inspiration for-
Jason Redman:
I’m just blessed, bro. Just blessed to still be here. And I mean that’s the way I look at it.
David Rutherford:
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve shown my daughters that ladder that you posted, man, on a regular basis, man. They start bitching, they start moaning, they start crying, and I just say, “Hey, hold on, let me just show you this for a friend of mine, and let me say to you what he right after he got shot in his face. All right? Let me just show you this.” And I read it to them and they just sit back, man. And they’re just like, “Wow. Wow.”
Jason Redman:
Well, Dave, you made a point earlier, and I want to go back to that point because I think it’s so critical. I think it’s one of the things that I know you were out there fighting against. I’m doing the same and it’s so natural. I don’t want to say it’s so natural; it’s so pervasive. And I love what you call it, the negative insurgency. It is the world we’re living in now. Social media is just inundated with negativity. The more I’m getting out there as my numbers are growing, the more I start to get hate, people that just want to reach out just to hate, just say, “Hey we don’t like you because of this, or we don’t to because of that.” I had a newsletter that went out, I was writing about purpose for people to identify and find their purpose, and the subject line of the newsletter was, “What is your purpose?” And I had a wonderfully intellectual individual write back and say, “My purpose is to tell you to shut the fuck up.”
David Rutherford:
Hey, I was thinking the same thing, bro. I’m sorry.
Jason Redman:
I had to laugh at it for a moment when I read it and then I was like, “Wow that’s so funny, because my purpose is to delete you,” which I probably did. But the funny thing is it is the world we are currently living in. It is the world our kids are growing up in, and I want to take this in two parts. The first part is this negative insurgency that not only is the world growing up in, we as ex military combat veterans are stepping into this world when you get out of the military. And it is a hard transition. You are going from a culture of forward-leaning warriors who had your back … I mean, we give each other shit, but at the end of the day, you know they have your back.
Jason Redman:
And not only that, it’s this positive mindset that we will overcome anything. And then you step out into the negative insurgency of this world, and you’re meeting people who have just settled for the negativity and have just settled for, “No, I can’t do that because …” it’s just the norm. Nobody steps up. Nobody overcomes, nobody takes the hard route any more. So you have said it upon yourself to get out there and spread that message. And I just want to hear how you are continuing that fire, because I know it gets tiring sometimes.
David Rutherford:
It’s a grind.
Jason Redman:
Yeah. So I want to hear about that. I want to hear about how you’re laying that message out there. And then we’re going to jump into the word of the day, because what you talk about, the word of the day is everything that I know you’re fighting with this.
David Rutherford:
Amen. For me, Jay, it really came down to, all right, where am I going to drive my time, because we’re all beginning to realize just how valuable time is, and especially with the tragedies that we’re confronting all the time. You just shared with me recently you lost a friend, just last week, I think it was you said, and I lost a friend two months ago. I just heard another guy from my friend David Corlew at The Journey Home Project, Charlie Daniels thing, a guy who had been through the Shepherd’s Men project, Atlanta just took his own life this weekend. And the perpetual reminder of how fragile life can be for us in our post-mission life, our post operational life, I needed to find my own purpose and I needed to figure out what that was going to be.
David Rutherford:
And for me, it really drills down to I’m a Christian and I just think there’s not enough people out there helping other people realize that pain and suffering is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to dominate your attitude, where you can learn through a sequence of whatever influences you might have, whether it’s to overcome or conquer or it’s Froglogic, whatever it might be, there are these tools that have been experienced, these educational experience from all of us that you can apply one at a time in whatever sequence and you can begin to help people find a way out of that abyss, out of those ashes, so to speak.
David Rutherford:
And that’s what I spend my time. So I’m a speaker, I’m probably doing 40 or 50 events a year-
Jason Redman:
Crushing it.
David Rutherford:
Thanks, brother. I’m doing behavioral and performance coaching for athletes and teams. I work with the Green Bay Packers this year, I’m currently working with a 16-year-old tennis phenom, this girl who’s, who’s on the trajectory, on that same level, as that girl Coco, in fact they won a world championship overseas two years ago. And then the mentoring I’m doing with veterans that are struggling. I’m working with a veterans project called the Synchrony Program at a Methodist hospital in Houston, and then the podcast for sure. And that’s my focus, is to try and deliver content in the midst of all that negativity, in the midst of people and their cultural indoctrination towards chopping each other down to somehow provide a little bit of light through that concept, beautiful concept called love, that simple thing that every one of us possesses that we’re born with, that all we got to do is just, wake up, take a breath of air, checkout or opposable thumbs and say, “You know what? Today I’m going to decide to spread love instead of hate.” And it’s that simple.
Jason Redman:
It is. It’s a choice, man. And that’s what I tell people all the time. You have a choice on how you’re going to deal with the negativity you encounter in your life, and you can lash out at it, or you can choose positivity and bring that back.
David Rutherford:
I mean, think about how many times just in our operational careers where we would be in that collective mindset, that was a necessity for the violence that was being asked of us, right? Go down range. We’ve got to be violent men. We’ve got to deliver that intensity because of what we were facing, the commitment level, that enemy that we’re facing day in and day out. But you cultivate this drive within that focus, that determination, that commitment to one another, and then all of a sudden that mission has gone, man, there’s a lingering negativity within us too, right? We’ve learned this violent attitude. And so to replace that with a mission orientation that’s supposed to help people that can’t help themselves, man, for me, for the first six or eight years, I was so frustrated because I was like, “Why don’t you get this?”
David Rutherford:
And it ultimately drove a negativity in me. And thank God, I was able to meet an old mentor of mine who actually was the headmaster of the school I went to, you went to Book, I went to St. Andrew’s, he was the old headmaster, his name was Reverend Andrews, and I started going to church in 2006. And man, he’s the one that flipped me around and was like, “Listen, what you did before, God bless you for it, but that’s not what you’re doing any more. And you have to learn to acknowledge that people aren’t at the same level. And so you can’t have that unreasonable expectation.”
Jason Redman:
Yeah. And having that choice, and it doesn’t change who you are. I mean, when you’ve touched the darkness, when you’ve been exposed to evil and you’ve learned to take other people’s lives, I’ll be honest, it becomes your first response. I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walking around in the civilian world and somebody said something to me and in my mind I just blew his brains out. And that’s a hard thing. People are like, “Oh my God, you’re a psychopath.” Well, I’m not a psychopath man. I trained as a warrior and unfortunately that became a part of who we are.
David Rutherford:
Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. I don’t mean to jump in. Let me ask you guys this. How many times in the first few years, like Ray, you’re just new. But being out of teams, it’s the same thing, in the first few years where you were in that confrontation of whatever it was and it wasn’t even imposed on you. It was just out there, and you decided to be society’s police, society’s Navy SEAL. And the mission was to knock down some asshole and tune them up. How many times were you in that spot and you’re just ready to potentially go to jail, ready to confront this stuff and you’re like, “My God, I have a family. There are people with their cell phones on right now recording this. I work with children for God’s sakes, and I’m about ready to tear this kid’s head off in public?”
Jason Redman:
Multiple times. And the thing is, we take that lifestyle and that mindset for granted because you grew up in this warrior community, but then suddenly you start to realize that people are terrified of that. Not only are they terrified of that, they think there’s something wrong with you. And so yeah, I mean, all joking aside, I mean that’s something that never fully goes away, but you learn how to, just like you said, it’s a choice, how we embrace the love and how we figure out how do we bring people together instead of divide people? And how do we motivate and inspire people despite the negativity? And that’s what I’ve focused on. It’s what you’ve focused on. And it is what you are teaching, which is summarized today in the word of the day.
Jason Redman:
And I’ve got to say this is a first for The Overcome and Conquer Show, because this word is not in Webster’s Dictionary, which it damn well should be. It should. Mr. Webster, I’m putting you on notice. You need to get your shit together, and this word needs to be added to Webster’s Dictionary.
Ray Care:
I think this actually needs to be on the cover of Webster’s Dictionary.
Jason Redman:
Absolutely. It should be renamed.
Ray Care:
Alphas going to be alphas, killers going to be killers, and this is where it needs to go.
Jason Redman:
So, as always, I’m going to turn it over to the captain and allow him to deliver the word of the day, and then we will kick it back to Dave to get deep.
Ray Care:
So just to let the cat out of the back. I actually know what his definition is because I see it here. But I’m going to tell you when I hear this word, what it means to me from knowing you. The word is … make sure I say it right because it’s got more than two syllables.
David Rutherford:
I’m sorry. I should’ve written it phonetically for you.
Jason Redman:
Actually, we put a picture up on Ray’s computer.
Ray Care:
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. No, the word on a serious note guys is Froglogic. And when I think of that word, what resignates with me is just positivity. It’s energy. It’s that magnetic fucking force that you have. I got goosebumps right now. It’s like I’m getting ready to make love to my wife for the first time. You are such a fucking magnetic personality that people are drawn to you, and I mean, dude, you’re a tractor beam and I love it. So that’s what it means to me. But since Sensei of boom, what does it mean to you go?
David Rutherford:
When I started this thing back in 2005, when I first started thinking it, it was all based on this experience I had when I was working for Blackwater overseas in Afghanistan. I was doing counter drugs stuff with the counter drug team and the FAST teams from the DEA. We had hit this compound and the [Mazhar Sheree 00:28:42], and it was filled with kids, and you guys have seen these compounds with kids over there. They have nothing, right? I mean they’re literally at the bottom of the barrel, man, in terms of what they have in store for them and their futures. And that was so profound for me that it sparked this, it’s probably is my third big God moment I had in my life. And it changed me to say, “Man, I don’t know how much positivity I can have looking down the barrel of my gun in this life.” And it is positive in a certain particular aspect, but it’s not in a grander sense of what purpose and meaning is all about.
David Rutherford:
And so in that moment I said, “I want to help kids.” And so as I pivoted to try and figure out, what this was going to look like how it was going to … thing, I said, “Well, how do I extrapolate all the positive aspects of what we are and what our legacy is?” Because I think the three of us can agree that, man, there’s a lot of aspects of our culture that have a societal negativity to it. It’s critical for the job that we’re required to do, but it doesn’t necessarily fit into society’s norms at all. In fact, it’s on the way outlier perspective of what that, that cultural normative behavior is all about.
David Rutherford:
And I never forget my first CL at Team One, he was a former dev group guy and badass guy, and some dudes got in trouble for beating the crap out of somebody and he’s like, “Well, don’t do it. And one thing that I’ve known in the teams is you can’t feed a tiger milk. Right?” And that surmised this attitude that they turn us into what we are. So in this moment I was like, “Man, I need to learn how to pull out the best of that stuff minus the guns, the bombs, the bullets, the dysfunction.” And I was trying to come up with an idea or a title for that, and through that thinking to teach people how to think, act and feel in a positive way, like a frogman. Just to take it all the way back.
David Rutherford:
Man, I know I’m jumping around, but I just …
Jason Redman:
No, don’t. Jump, baby, jump.
David Rutherford:
The first time I ever saw those dudes wearing the UDT trunks, those old two by fours they’d strap to their feet, the Kmart round masks, the K-bar on their hip, all greased up carrying 50 pounds of TNT, and they all look they were stoked all the time, man. They all look like that this was the greatest place they could ever be. And just that resonated in me. And so I wanted to pay tribute to the frog men of the Navy. And then I wanted to also pay tribute to how cerebral we all are. Well, maybe not you, Ray, but I wanted to pay tribute to how-
Jason Redman:
You are very cerebral, Ray. I know you.
David Rutherford:
I wanted to pay tribute to how much we think through the details of what we are and what we are to each other. Really. Right? It’s what we are to each other. I spent more time thinking about what I meant to my best friends, to my teammates, to my swim buddy, to my shoot buddy. I spent more time thinking about that then anything else I thought about in the SEAL teams and afterwards, and contracting too. And so I wanted to bring that cerebral aspect to the tribute of what it means to think, act and feel with a positive twist to it, this idea, this mentality, this philosophy of living or thinking, and I titled it Froglogic.
Jason Redman:
That’s awesome. So I’m to cut you out. [inaudible 00:32:39] Do you want to respond?
Speaker 6:
I was just going to say, because I think I know where you’re going. I was just going to say, so Dave obviously didn’t all come-
David Rutherford:
I love the fact that you guys read each other’s minds, dude. That’s so awesome, dude.
Jason Redman:
I know this didn’t just come to you, lie all of us, there’s an evolution of who we are and this idea of Froglogic, this idea of this team mindset didn’t happen overnight. And I think that’s where Ray was going to go.
Ray Care:
Yeah. It didn’t happen overnight. So, remember I told you we’ve been following each other’s footsteps. So, I talk about me in college having that moment with God. We have a lot more in common than people think. And this is true. We both played the same sport in college. We both played lacrosse. We do know that my awakening happening in college a night of looking in the mirror and look in the mirror and what I saw was my father. That came to you, if memory serves me correct, during I guess, what, your last semester or quarter of college, you were on a destructive path, which is something that I can relate with, and you had that moment of clarity, which correct me if I’m wrong, happened … Mine happened while looking in a mirror. Yours happened while looking in a laundry mat [crosstalk 00:33:56]. So my fucking question is, and this is a deep question is explain how that darkness led to the light. With me it was, I looked in the mirror and I saw my father. If you could go back in time when you looked in the mirror, what did you see? And then, obviously how did you change your life around? Because there’s a lot of people that are in that stage of their life right now that need this direction.
David Rutherford:
Thank you, one, it means the world to me that that story. And I just appreciate you so much, Ray, and man, you’re phenomenal. I think there’s always a moment when we’re in our darkest place that we’re trying to find light. We’re yearning for it. We know it’s a part of it. And so for me, as I was staring into that laundry mat, and for me those moments were times where, because I was an art major with a minor in poetry, and I’m a hippy who can kill you. Right? And those moments for me were times where through my writing or my drawing that I would ease the suffering that I was in. And it was the suffering of failure. I felt like a failure. I had been kicked off the lacrosse team, I didn’t realize my dream of playing football in college, and so it was in that moment that I really saw the hole, the emptiness.
Jason Redman:
Dave.
David Rutherford:
Yeah.
Jason Redman:
Hey man, can we back up just a little, because I’d love to get into … I’ll be honest, the downward spiral. I am a big fan of just exposing the warts because right now there are young men, and even middle aged men that are listening to this, that are on that same path, that are lost right now, that are looking in a mirror going, “Where do I go with my life?” And I talk a lot about this, hose the end moments, which the reality is if you’re willing to buy into it, it can become a new beginning. And you had one of these moments, Ray had one of these moments, I’ve had these moments. So I’d love to hear that downward spiral when you finally hit that moment when you were like, “It is the end. Where do I go from here?”
David Rutherford:
Absolutely, brother. I had started playing football when I was four years old, and some years I played on both a high school team and Pop Warner for two years there, and that was my thing, man. I was a quarterback, I went to four or five quarterback clinics, camps all around the country every summer. I threw 500 footballs a day. And that was my dream. But at St. Andrew’s, my senior year, we went 0 in 10. And I didn’t get a single offer, a single look, nothing. And so I opted to do a postgraduate year at a school up in Connecticut called Choate. And I was looking at about six other schools and it came down to this guy and another place called Lawrenceville. And the Lawrenceville coach was this guy from the 1940s running a crazy single wing [inaudible 00:36:53] nonsense. And then this guy Jim Irzyk at Choate was like, “Man, I’m going to throw the ball 40 times a game.” I’m like, “Bing, bing, bing, bing.”
David Rutherford:
So I’m going to go there, I show up, and he brings in another quarterback too, this guy Mike Gerber, brilliant, unbelievable guy, former Congressman from up in the Philly area, guy’s amazing guy. And we split time. Now, we ended up being the best team that Choate’s ever produced in the 110 year history up to that point in terms of we were undefeated, our score margins, how we demolished other teams. But he only wanted to go to UPenn because his dad had gone there. So we got in UPenn, but I want to go D1. So I only got D1 double ace offers. I got a bunch of D3 offers, and so what I figured I was the national representative to the national high school all star game for lacrosse the year before. So I figured I’d play lacrosse, we won a new England championship, I won a state in Florida, then the new England championship there. So I got recruited to play lacrosse at Penn State and I figured I’d walk on.
David Rutherford:
But when I got there, the freshman quarterback was a guy named Kerry Collins. And Kerry is this specimen of a human being. I mean, he was just … I mean, God, he just-
Jason Redman:
He’s like Ray?
David Rutherford:
Yeah. But much taller and much more-
Jason Redman:
Much more handsome? Articulate? Much more intelligent?
David Rutherford:
Pretty much better at everything.
Ray Care:
I got Froglogic, so I made big steps today.
David Rutherford:
And Kerry never had Froglogic at all. So, there was no way I was ever going to play or at least start. And what we do as children or young men is we cultivate a concept of what we imagine masculinity to be. And our influences come from the books we read, TV, from social media now, from all these places, from our fathers particularly, right? And what we believe we’re supposed to be calm or who we are. And so this idea that I was never going to be the starter and that I’d always play a back seat to this guy … and what I didn’t even realize that just being a part of that team would have been an epic experience. They were one of the best teams in the four years. I mean, Ki-Jana Carter, Bobby Engram, Kyle Brady, I mean these incredible guys.
David Rutherford:
And I quit. And it was the first thing I’d ever quit my life. And that failure shattered me. I mean, it shattered me, Jay. I lost all my self confidence. My fears exploded into these very unrealistic fears, I had no direction, no meaning. And so what did I do? I climbed in a bottle of Jack Daniels and abused drugs and I didn’t go to class. And I’m very blessed, though. My parents, my father had experienced, not quite as damaging, while he was at University of Michigan back in the day, but gave me space to figure it out.
David Rutherford:
And so although I wasn’t going to school, I was consuming as much as I could in terms of reading. What he had done when he had gotten kicked out of Michigan for a semester for intellectual drifting, the only person in University Michigan history to be expelled for intellectual drifting. And he went to [crosstalk 00:40:12].
Ray Care:
That’s a hell of a term.
David Rutherford:
Yeah, they made it up. They made it up, right. He made a list of 100 of the classics, 100 classic books from The Iliad to [inaudible 00:40:21], you name it. And so I did that same thing. I read through all hundred of those, I went on to read every philosophical book I could read. I read theology, I read it all. Everything. I read about my favorite artists, art history, and I read poetry all the time. And so it was in that that I saw there’s a consistent reality to every human being’s life. If you want to amount to anything, you have to be willing to accept pain.
Jason Redman:
Boom. I like that.
Ryan Manion:
Yeah. Holy shit.
David Rutherford:
You have to. And I had never had pain. I was from Boca Raton, Florida, I had a fucking silver spoon in my mouth, excuse me, since I was a little kid, and I’d never known pain, but now my pain was I didn’t think I could ever become the man that I had imagined I needed to become. And I had this profound fear of death. I had this profound fear of facing fear, of understanding it.
David Rutherford:
And so in that aha moment that Ray was talking about and that emptiness and seeing the reflection of nothing, almost, luckily my freshman year, the guy who lived next door to me named Tony Granski from Scranton, PA, had given me my first ever book on Navy SEALs and seals from Vietnam, the Men With Green Faces. And I knew all about Green Berets and Rangers and from the time I was like 12 years old. And I was the kid that had all the best army gear, the best face paint. I knew how to do tiger stripe shit. I knew what [inaudible 00:41:59] was. I was that kid wearing the ninja uniforms, playing crazy ding dong ditch all over the place.
David Rutherford:
But I did know about SEALs. And so that freshman year, he gave me this book, he said, “Hey,” they called me Elvis. He goes, “Elvis read this book, man.” And I read that thing cover to cover. And I was like, “Holy shit.” So fast forward is hyperlink to that moment. I’m sitting there, I wrote down, I said, “Well, I need to be objective.” I couldn’t stay in school because I hate the art program. I had this other bizarre fascination with tattoos and motorcycles. I had one shitty tattoo, and I’d never ridden a bike before in my life.
Jason Redman:
Had a scooter?
David Rutherford:
Not even, bro. I had an ATC, one of those old three wheelers when I was a kid, but I’d never written a motorcycle. So I figured I’d move to LA and get a tattoo apprenticeship and try and do that. And I was like I’d be dead in six months. And then the third was I was going to drop out of school and join the SEAL teams to become a part of that culture. And it was because I knew that was the one place, the program, the culture was so focused in delivering and applying that pain that that was what I needed. That was the anvil I needed to be beaten upon.
Jason Redman:
I love it. I love the stories of how guys make their way into the teams, because it’s so diversified. I mean, me, I was young and I was 14 and I chose that path and I never looked off it. But there’s so many guys you that have, you had this rock bottom moment and you literally went out on a soul search to figure out, “Where do I go?” And the warrior way calls you. Mark Divine’s like that.
David Rutherford:
oh, my God. I love Mark’s story.
Ryan Manion:
Commander Divine. We don’t call him Mark.
David Rutherford:
He is divine. [crosstalk 00:43:55].
Jason Redman:
Come on. You’re the captain. You can call him Mark.
Ray Care:
So you were only 14 when you went through BUD/S?
Ryan Manion:
Yeah. I was only 14.
Ray Care:
Holy shit. I thought there was an age requirement.
Ryan Manion:
That’s why it was so easy to carry me. I was a small child.
David Rutherford:
He said it. I carried him. You’ve heard this live.
Jason Redman:
But then there are others who maybe they haven’t hit rock bottom, but they had this … I had a friend who worked on Wall Street and one day he was just like he was tired of the grind and he walked by the recruiting office and suddenly decided, he walked in and was like, “I’m making a change my life.” And he was like, “Hey, I want to join the Navy.” And they were like, “Well, we have these guys called SEALs.” And he was like, “Check. I’ll do that.”
David Rutherford:
How about circus? How about Nate Von Uhl, man? Fucking circus, grew up in a circus his whole life.
Jason Redman:
That’s so awesome. Dude, I would run away and join the circus. There’s no doubt about it. Some day.
Ryan Manion:
I got two things I want to add.
Jason Redman:
Ryan, you were in the circus.
Ryan Manion:
Two things I got to add. First and foremost, my wife actually just said, “Tell Dave Rutherford I said hi.” So question number one is why does my wife know who the fuck you are?
David Rutherford:
Hold on, hold on. My favorite videos that you post on your is your wife having fun dancing [crosstalk 00:45:06].
Ryan Manion:
We were just talking about that the other day.
David Rutherford:
By far the best post in the world because you guys look so happy.
Ryan Manion:
You know what? We are and we-
Jason Redman:
Well, and she’s also an incredibly hot blonde. [crosstalk 00:45:19]. Listen, I call it like it is. Trust me. If my wife was dancing on there, I guarantee you I’d be [crosstalk 00:45:27].
Ryan Manion:
My wife loves you and Dan Lucardo for some fricking reason. I don’t know why. And she’s always “Oh, tell Dan and Dave I said hi.” And I’m like, “Wait a minute. I mean, is there something maybe we need to know?”
David Rutherford:
No, no, bro. You’re good.
Ryan Manion:
And number two I want to tell people about, there’s a legend in the SEAL teams and then we’ll move on real quick. It’s called the frog man’s curse. Now I’m not going to get into names or anything, but I don’t know what you did to piss off … And again, it’s a blessing guys. This is a joke. This is a joke, blessing. But they usually say that when a frogman gets the curse, he gets one daughter. Jay, how many do you have?
Jason Redman:
I have two.
Ryan Manion:
I have one. Dave? How many daughters do you have?
David Rutherford:
I have quatro.
Ryan Manion:
Four. He has four daughters. You did something to somebody and they said, “You know what, we’re going to give you a heart attack from the minute the first one is born for the rest of your life.” So God bless you because you have a beautiful family.
David Rutherford:
Thank you, man. Are you ready for this?
Ryan Manion:
I’m ready.
David Rutherford:
You move into this space and absolutely you’re like, “Oh my God, what am I going to do? How am I going to parent? How am I going to influence? What am I going to do to these young men that come over to court my daughters?” And man, every time I’m on the road and I meet somebody that has three, four, five daughters, six daughters I’ve met before. I always, “What’s your best advice?” And they’re like, “You’re the Navy SEAL, man. Have your guns out, have some torture chair. Get your water boring shit out.” And I’m like, “Oh, that’s great. Ha ha ha.”
David Rutherford:
And then I found this guy who ran a bank in Memphis, Tennessee. I was out there doing a gig, and I was on a pre call with them and I said, “Sir, what are you doing?” He goes, “Well, let me tell you, son, the first two, I thought I’d do that. I had my shotguns out and I’d try and scare the bejesus out of them.” And they went out and they dated the worst MFs on the planet, man, drug dealers, bad dudes, just killed me. And so I finally went to my pastor and I said, “Hey, what’s going on? What am I doing wrong?” And he goes, “Well, what are you doing?” He tells him, the guy breaks out laughing. “You idiot.” And he said, “Hey man, try this. When these boys come over, instead of trying to scare ’em, sit down and pray with them. Put them next year and pray on them and try and guide them in their faith and guide them to understand how much God loves your daughter and how much you love and how valuable they are, and try and instill that faith and that value in them and guide them to become better men for your daughter.” And so that’s my approach, bro. And it’s funny.
Jason Redman:
David, spot on, man. I had the same thing, friends of mine with daughters, fellow team guys would be like, “I’m going to chain her to the bed. She’s never going to leave the house. I’m going to have all these guns.” And I used to make all those jokes. I used to make all those jokes with my daughters when they were growing up, and it backfired on me. I quickly learned my oldest daughter when she was 14 lost her mind and they never wanted to bring anyone to the house because they were like, “Dad, you intimidate people. All the boys are afraid. They don’t want to come over and meet you.” And I was like, “This isn’t what I want. I want to communicate with you. I want to meet these people. I want to get to know them.” And so really I changed. And I was like, “I am all about communication.”
David Rutherford:
What’d you do, Jay? What were the first steps you did to change?
Jason Redman:
I just told my daughter, I said, “Listen, it’s my job as your parent to raise you to be an adult and to make good decisions out in the world. And in order to do that as a teenager, you’re going to have to get out and make those decisions.” So between the ages of starting around 15, 16, you’re going to have to let your kids get out there and make decisions. And sometimes they’re going to make bad decisions, sometimes they’re going to date people that you disagree with. And we went down that road with my daughter. If we had reached a point where I felt like she was in danger, we would have crossed that line. But we stayed very close, we watched, and I just communicated her with her all the time. And I always would tell her, and even to this day, I tell her, “I trust you. I love you. I believe in you. Make good decisions.” And that has played a huge thing. And I tried to explain that to other parents. I mean, that is your job as a parent.
Ray Care:
Yeah, that guy that he was talking about’s still missing, the young man that you dated? But my daughter’s 11 and doing the same thing. She’s starting to like boys and she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to Daddy. And me and my wife actually sat her down and said, I tell her, “Daddy is the first and hopefully your last line of defense of who you can trust as a man.” And I’m trying to teach her the qualities. I open the car door for her. She expects that. “Boys should bring you flowers, he should do this and that. And you need to be able to talk to Daddy about things like this.” Because I don’t want my daughter to go through things and get pressured into something because she felt scared to talk to me about it. I told her anything that she want to talk to me about weekend handled together.
Ray Care:
And all I do is reinforce that daily. Like there’s a boy in school she likes, I can’t say his name, I don’t want to do that. But, “How did it go today? Did you talk to him?” It used to be, “Daddy!” And now it’s, “No, we didn’t talk today,” or, “Yes we did.” So it’s gradual steps.
David Rutherford:
You’re into the incremental adjustments, bro.
Ray Care:
Yeah, incremental.
Jason Redman:
And Dave, listen, man. So that rolls us right into family and the importance of family. I know family is so important for Ray and I, I talk about at the end of this life, and as a guy who lay on the battlefield bleeding out, I didn’t care about anything. I didn’t care about my stuff. I didn’t care about how much money was in my account. All these people out there that’s so focused on things, and things are great, but in the end you’re not going to give a shit about that stuff. All you’re going to care about is the people you love and how you wish you could only have a couple more minutes with them. So you recently had once again a little bit of an epiphany moment in your life where you were like, “I’ve got to put my family first.” And it’s kind of a big deal because a lot of people listening right now are like, “Oh my God, Rut was on team Never Quit. What happened?” So why don’t you tell everybody how you came to this moment?
David Rutherford:
It’s funny that you bring it up like that. Just recently after doing T&QP for three and a half, almost four years and then walking away, and I’ll tell the story here in a second, but calling me back to my own business, I had been neglecting Froglogic for the entire time. And so we’ve just gone through this whole overhaul, new website or whatever. And so when I’m working with my new web designer guy, he’s going through and he’s doing all these search engines for me, my name and all that stuff. And he says, “You know what the second biggest thing behind Froglogic is? Why did Rut leave T&Q?”
Ray Care:
Oh, it’s huge. It’s spread like wildfire.
David Rutherford:
I know, man, and I’m still getting messages online.
Ray Care:
Everybody wants a conspiracy.
David Rutherford:
Yeah, they did. Yeah, they did. So quite frankly, it got to a place where when we started this, because Melanie approached me, we were at a charity softball event in … Where was it? I forget where it was. It was outside Houston, almost five years ago in the fall.
Jason Redman:
And Melanie is Marcus Luttrell’s beautiful, lovely wife. She’s an amazing person. She definitely got all the brains in that relationship. Love you, Marcus.
Ray Care:
I mean, we all know that Marcus is, literally, he drags his knuckles below the dirt.
Jason Redman:
No. He tills the earth when he walks.
Ray Care:
I’ll just punch you in your fucking face.
David Rutherford:
But this is the scary thing. I think I’m the only human being on the planet that actually knows what he’s talking about. You know what I mean? It’s funny, man. They approached me and they’re like, “Hey, we want to do a show together.” And so it took us about six months to get it up and running, and we got it, and we started it and it just was crazy. Our first show dropped June 3rd or 6th of ’16. I think our first show was Nick Palmisciano from Ranger Up, and by January, or by December, iTunes had nominated us as one of the top 30 for 2016. And we were like, “Holy shit. This is big. And it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
David Rutherford:
And because the wizard was still the deploying, our recording schedule was, was different. He’d go overseas for a certain time, come back and he’d immediately come out to Marcus’s ranch where we recorded the show, and we would spend anywhere from 10 to 14 days, and we’d pack 10 [inaudible 00:54:32] beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous, by the way. They are, right? That is true talent, man. True talent. So we would spend 10, 15 days …
Jason Redman:
I just pissed in a water bottle so I would listen to David [crosstalk 00:54:44].
Ray Care:
I’m thinking about doing it myself.
David Rutherford:
You’re the man, brother.
Ray Care:
How disrespectful would it be to stop, brother? All I did was show you respect. Yeah. I’ve got piss dripping down my leg right now, but I don’t care.
David Rutherford:
I literally know and feel that. And what I’m thinking is the logistics and would my readers be able to [crosstalk 00:55:01] would I miss it? I don’t think I have a talent any more. I’m running out of talent.
Ray Care:
You’re not Irish. Keep going.
David Rutherford:
That’s right in that little hole. Anyway, so we get into this thing and, man, it was unbelievable. And then the response we started getting back from people was, it was really just … Our third year in, we had eight emails that we got that year from people that wrote in and said, “I was in the process of committing suicide, and I didn’t because the show popped up.” And there was one in particular of [crosstalk 00:55:45] went out, he had worked it up, he was struggling with a bunch of stuff, bunch of buddies had died, he went out into a tree stand, he had his gun, he sat down, he was drinking, he was freezing. He pulled his gun out, he was about ready to do it. And he had had the show on alert when a new show would drop, and all of a sudden it pops up and starts playing, and the guy doesn’t commit suicide because he listens to the show.
David Rutherford:
And so we were receiving these things and it was unbelievable. But because of this training schedule, because of the wizard’s training our deployment schedule, I’d go for a week and a half, two weeks at a time to get all of our episodes that we could drop. And then right before he redeployed, he’d come back, we’d do the same thing again. So it worked out to where I was spending almost three months a year in Houston recording the show. And with my speaking schedule as well too, doing 40, 50 a year, I hit a point where I wasn’t home. And so almost two years, ago I met my fiance at a school function, fell madly in love, she has two daughters, I have two daughters, they moved in a year ago, November, and next thing I know, the month they moved in, I was gone for three weeks out of that month. And it hit me. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Ray Care:
And it should have. And it should have. I get you, brother.
David Rutherford:
That’s why I stopped doing it. We had this conversation before I stopped doing what I did and I love it.
Ray Care:
You know what? I love that you put family first, right? My four F-bombs, family fitness, finance, faith. But on that note, I got to ask you something.
David Rutherford:
Ray, faith needs to go first, buddy.
Ray Care:
Well, I use faith is believing myself and religion, but I put it at the bottom because it’s the foundation of everything that I stem off of. [crosstalk 00:57:47]. It’s the root to my tree of my family tree. That’s why I do that.
David Rutherford:
Wait. Jay, you said he wasn’t as smart. You said he was a knucklehead, dude.
Jason Redman:
He’s a sleeper, bro. He’s a sleeper.
Ray Care:
I just act pretty, but I’m smart.
Jason Redman:
He just hides behind that shit.
Ray Care:
So I want to ask you something. Okay. Team frog … frog … I can’t say it. Your company has taken off, team Froglogic. You are fucking crushing it right now and you are focusing on your family and your company right now. Can you close, and in about a minute, I want to go over your five components of Froglogic because I know what they are, and I want you to briefly touch on them so the audience knows who you are, what you’re doing and how you plan to implement this into what I like to say, just the world of your boom. So, obviously, forging self-confidence. Let’s start with that real quick. Go. You got about 20 seconds. Tell me what that means.
David Rutherford:
Forging self confidence as a way for people to recognize that every day there’s that negative insurgency is going to pummel them. Whether it’s rejection, whether it’s getting shut down on a sales call, whether it’s a relationship, whether it’s not meeting their physical, mental, spiritual requirements. So we have to have a process to rebuild it every day. And so it’s eight missions in order to rebuild that whole thing and to get you back and have that self confidence. So when you do face those great challenges, you’re not randomly hoping on an old motley crew song or an old GNR song for your motivational triggers, you actually have a focused approach to get back in. It’s a lot like you in The Project, you guys have a series of a sequence of events, Jay with getting off the new stuff, he’s coming out with his new book and getting off the ex, man. It’s the same concept behind that to give people a step by step process and mission orientation in order to forge that self-confidence.
Ray Care:
Okay. Number two is I think the three of us can understand this. Live the team life. Can you expand on that?
David Rutherford:
Yeah. So when it all started, the self confidence piece was first because I wanted to work with kids ages eight to 15 and then when I went to work for the client, and for two years I trained case officers to go overseas, and in them, initially it was like, man, I thought I was going to teach them. And then they started teaching me. And they taught me how to be more cerebral in terms of how people on an individual basis relate to themselves, to their various cultural orientations. Right? And that’s really where we’re the most vulnerable. Because I got to work with these insane interrogators and these guys were like, “All right, you don’t shove a gun down somebody’s face in order to get the information. What you do is you befriend them, develop rapport and then you pull the pieces apart. You pull the strings of what really makes us tick as human beings.”
David Rutherford:
And so the core root of all that is our team orientation. And we feel that it’s second nature. And so what I wanted to do again is create really a foundation of what these ideas, and so there are four missions within living a team life that people can focus on and apply and define in order to elevate their standards of what that team orientation looks like.
Ray Care:
I love it. Number three, embrace the fear. Embrace fear.
David Rutherford:
So what happened was I developed Froglogic or forging self-confidence and then it was team life, and then my second deployment overseas, I was doing onesies, twosies when I’d come home and I remember doing an event and it was this question, “Were you afraid going overseas? Were you afraid?” And my initial response and your typical one was, Yeah, you try driving around in a countryside with 25 million landmines in a dune buggy, you’re going to be afraid, right? Somebody shoots at your head, you’re going to be afraid. There’s nothing you can do. We’re wired for it. It’s a part of our existence, and I had that biological knowledge from being a corpsman, right? I understood the limbic system, I understood the functionality of the amygdalas, how they worked through all the different components and regions of the brain, how they can override your prefrontal cortex.
David Rutherford:
And so I was like, “But we don’t spend any time in our lives actually learning and understanding what our fear really is, where it comes from and how to manage it.” Right? Because that’s what really managing the pain of life is about, is about keeping fear in a way to where it doesn’t destroy us, but it actually becomes those driving forces. Your father, my emptiness, Jay deciding early on this was what I needed to do. This was my career path. If I didn’t do it, I wasn’t going to achieve this in my life. So all of those are rooted in fear. So, I did a truckload of research for about three years and came up with the five missions to learn how to embrace your fear.
Ray Care:
Number four, the fourth component live with purpose.
David Rutherford:
Oh man. And to caveat off of Jay’s earlier statements, there are two main questions we have to ask ourselves on an ongoing and regular basis. And I learned this from … one of my favorite books in the world is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. When you are in a concentration camp in an Auschwitz or Dachau where he ended up, you’re decimated of all preconceived notion of dignity, of relevance, of meaning of anything because you’re just surrounded by mutilation and evil and chaos and all this stuff. But he was able to forge through that nightmare, really, the darkest component of our existence by love. And that became his purpose, was to find and figure out who we loved, what he loved, how he loved and then never let that go.
David Rutherford:
So that led me on to say, and people at the time were like, “Why would you run into gunfire? Why did you do it?” And my answer was always, “That was our purpose. That was what our meaning was.” But when you don’t have a mission that, what are you supposed to do? And so I said, “All right, well how do we get people towards recognizing that even if they are not sure which pathway to follow in life, as long as they set out on the journey and they route that journey and they step with love every day, they’ll eventually find that purpose. And that’s why there’s five missions to learn how to live with purpose.
Ray Care:
Amen. And number five, the last one, team culture.
David Rutherford:
Yeah. So this has been the big buzzword, and I’m sure you guys hear it all the time working with different organizations or who you’re working with. “We want the culture of the Navy SEALs. How do I turn my guys into the Navy SEALs of this?” And the joke is, “Oh, that’s easy. Just give me a telephone pole, a boat filled with ice water, and let me beat the holy living shit out of you for seven straight months.” Right? And that’s just not realistic for anybody in any way or any shape or any form. But yet culture’s the essential component. And so, I said, “All right, I don’t really know that much about how culture evolves.” So I found this brilliant guy named Dr. Geert Hofstede, who’s this Dutch guy and he’s interviewed over 10,000 organizations in every country in the world. And he wrote this really brilliant book called Software for the Mind. And it’s a complete deep dive into national and organizational culture, the pillars of how those are defined from every everywhere around the world.
David Rutherford:
And I read this and I was like, “Whoa, this is it.” And he defines culture as the collective programming of the mind, where a few people together and through a series or sequence of events, they come up with a certain collective mindset. Well, in our world, that mindset is a derivative of the application of pain. And so what I did is said, “All right, well, is your culture readily applying positive pain in your lives?” Because when you look at ours through the behavioral lens of operant conditioning, what you find is that they build our great culture, putting us in perpetual pain, because combat is pain in every way, shape or form, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally.
David Rutherford:
So I came up with basically these seven concepts or ideas on a flow to get your team through the application of pain in this sequence of events to get to the place where once again, you’re rooted in that great sense of love. And Jay, I know you can speak to this. When those guys came running out to get you, man, why did they do it? They did it because they loved you. Because they loved you and they didn’t want to see you die. They were willing to take fire themselves because they love you. And the same thing for you, right? There’s nothing I know you wouldn’t do for your children and for your wife, because you love them. And that’s the culture. That’s the great culture. So that’s Froglogic.
Jason Redman:
That’s awesome, man. So, dude, dropping bombs of knowledge. Dave right now, I guarantee you there are people out there that are like, “Dude, where do we find you? We want this guy.” So Dave, give everyone your contact info. Where can they find more of you and where can they find a lot of people that don’t know who don’t follow him, and Dave alluded to this earlier, he studied poetry and he is a phenomenal writer, man. He writes incredible-
Ray Care:
His daily doses are incredible.
Jason Redman:
Yeah. And sometimes, dude, I will admit I’m blown away by them, and sometimes I’m like, “Holy shit, this is so deep.”
Ray Care:
Sometimes I call Jason and go, “What the hell does that mean? Because I don’t even know they have these fucking words.” He breaks it down but it’s beautiful.
Jason Redman:
So, Dave, tell everybody where they can find you and follow you. Where can companies hire you?
David Rutherford:
Yeah, I appreciate, man. My website is teamfroglogic.com. On there there’s, the list of all the Froglogic concepts. My podcast is loaded there called The Froglogic Podcast, which you can listen on every platform that’s out there. And by the way, you guys, we got a schedule you, I need to get each one of you individually so we can really break down and get into your perspective on the human condition. Probably Ray, you’ll go last because I need the right prep time through Jay and I to know what questions I got to ask you.
David Rutherford:
And then you can find me on all social media platforms @teamfroglogic. I’m mostly on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook still, I don’t know why, but I’m still there and Twitter.
Jason Redman:
I think a lot of us ask that question.
David Rutherford:
It’s brutal, man. It’s brutal. So that’s where I’m at, gents.
Jason Redman:
Well, brother, it’s been amazing. I love your message of relentless positivity, countering the negative insurgency that’s out there. Dude, I absolutely applaud you also for making that really hard decision. You are part of a nationally, nationally ranked podcast and you said, “You know what, man, it’s not worth it. It’s not worth it because my family is more important.” And that’s a huge message for so many of you out there. It goes back to what I was talking about earlier. None of that shit, none of those accolades, none of that money in your bank account. All those things are great. But if your family’s not there with you, it ain’t going to matter in the end.
David Rutherford:
You don’t have anything. And what the beautiful aspect of it, what’s remarkable is, Marcus still texts me about once every couple of weeks and he’s going, “Just checking in, how are you?” And for a long time I was very worried about launching my next show. I was very worried about what people would think and whether or not they thought there was a feud or some craziness, and man, it was really in a space where I worried about that? I remember Marcus sent me a text this summer and he’s like, “Hey. Rut, man, you got to get out there. The world needs your positivity.” And it was really this beautiful sense of relief and confidence that this incredible human being that I spent so many hours with and I’ve so much deep love was like, “Hey man, just go for it and get out there and do what you got to do.”
David Rutherford:
And it just speaks volumes as to their character and who he is. And I’m just so blessed to have been a part of it, and everybody go check it out. Marcus is doing amazing shows. He’s had some incredible ones on recently. And [crosstalk 01:10:40]. Yeah.
Ray Care:
Yeah. I thought you were talking about me. I’m sorry.
David Rutherford:
Well, listen, before I hop off, I just want to say to you guys, I know how hard it is and I think what a lot of people that are listening, they see us as almost just because of the Trident. We’re almost up on this pedestal, but every day is a grind for us. Every day is hard. Every day we’re having to reprove ourselves to our families to our friends and to the world around us in a world where there are literally probably 75 SEALs out there speaking and training and on podcasts and all this stuff. It’s almost inundated with stuff that almost becomes redundant on the messaging. But I got to tell you guys, I’m so proud to know both of you. I think both of you are doing it at the very top up there. Just the ideas themselves to overcome and conquer, it made my heart just sing when you guys joined up and you started doing it together, and it’s such a beautiful relationship and it also inspires me every day to keep driving on. And it’s worth the fight, it’s worth the [crosstalk 01:11:57] it’s worth it to just get out there and to spread that message of positivity. Thank you guys. I love you so much.
Jason Redman:
Much love right back at you. Same, man. It’s all about the grind. We always got to grind. So you’ve got to overcome and conquer.
Ray Care:
Yeah, baby. All right, so Mr. David Rutherford himself, Froglogic, definitely follow him. Go to his website. And we’re going to wrap things up. I mean, man, this has been an amazing show talking about family, talking about positivity, so producer, Ryan, I think we’re going to-
Ryan Manion:
I think it’s great.
David Rutherford:
You can’t top this.
Ryan Manion:
No. No.
Ray Care:
Unless I did something, but I’m not going to. So Dave …
David Rutherford:
Can we see your penis?
Ray Care:
I just peed in the bottle. [crosstalk 01:12:42].
Jason Redman:
Hang on. We’ve gotta put the zoom on. We’ve got to put the zoom on. [crosstalk 01:12:46].
Speaker 6:
Get your magnifying glasses out.
David Rutherford:
Thank you, Jay. Thank you [crosstalk 01:12:50].
Ryan Manion:
Jay, you know that’s not true. We were in the same fucking boat crew. You know that’s not true even when it was cold.
Jason Redman:
Yeah. I felt I constantly had a pencil in my [crosstalk 01:13:01].
Ray Care:
The tendencies arise.
Jason Redman:
All right, ladies and gentleman, this has been another episode of The Overcome and Conquer Show. I am Jason “Overcome” Redman.
Ray Care:
And I am Ray “Cash” Care.
Jason Redman:
And we are out. Boom.
Speaker 4:
Thanks for listening to The Overcome and Conquer Show. Tune in next time and please remember to subscribe on iTunes. Please visit overcomeandconquer.com
Jason Redman:
The Overcome and Conquer show is presented by The Project. The Project is a full immersion 75-hour experience designed for men who know in their core they are not living up to their fullest potential. Rather than waking up every morning ready to dominate life, the mediocre man rolls out of bed and slides into the same unfulfilling routine they’ve unhappily been in for way too long. The Project is for men that have lost their eternal flame and motivation to conquer. It is for men living an unfulfilling life that lacks the excitement and purpose. If this resonates with you and you want to learn more, we encourage you to apply today www.mdkproject.com/ocshow. Boom.